


Song III - Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

by Sam I Am (Sam_I_Am89)



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: M/M, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-06-27
Packaged: 2018-02-06 11:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1857225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_I_Am89/pseuds/Sam%20I%20Am
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As part of the Random Song Fic Challenge, here is a LOTR Spoof inspired by the Muse cover of "Can't Take My Eyes Off You", originally sung by Frankie Valli (I think)!</p>
<p>WARNING: This is not meant seriously in ANY WAY. </p>
<p>When I heard this Muse cover, I was drawn to traumatising memories of all the bad fic I had been exposed to whilst in the Lord of the Rings fandom. So here is a collection of cliches, poor writing, woeful characterisation and hopefully a few chuckles!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Song III - Can't Take My Eyes Off of You

Song III - Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You – Muse

You're just too good to be true, Can't keep my eyes off you.  
You feel like heaven to touch. I wanna hold you so much.  
At long last love has arrived and I thank God I'm alive.  
You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you.  
  
Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing else to compare.  
The sight of you makes me weak. There are no words left to speak,  
But if you feel like I feel, Please let me know that it's real.  
You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off of you.  
  
I love you, baby, And if it's quite alright,  
I need you, baby, To warm a lonely night.  
I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say:  
Oh, pretty baby, Don't bring me down, I pray.  
Oh pretty baby, now that I found you, stay  
And let me love you, baby. Let me love you.

 

 

Aragorn couldn’t sleep.

 The Fellowship had only left Rivendell a few days before and already he was more consumed than ever with desire for one of his few companions on this quest. He was embarrassed by the depth of his feelings that he mournfully expected would never be returned.

 He tried to put his sorrow from his already troubled mind when dawn bloomed faint pink across the sky, reminding the handsome man of the blush on a certain enchanting Elven prince’s cheeks.

 He growled to himself in frustration; how could he ever deserve him?! He was courageous, yes, and he had been told by his companions for years that he could be considered handsome, he had been well educated by Elrond, could speak Elvish among other languages, was an accomplished warrior and leader during battle, had the choice to rule over all men in Gondor, but how could he be worthy of Legolas?!

 As he thought this he saw the astoundingly stunning elf appear, dressed in a dark green tunic, the colour of lush garden grass, with a leather belt completed with an ornate silver leaf buckle. He was singing softly like the birds in the trees waking from their sleep; even the trees seemed to slightly lean towards the beauty, yearning as the ranger did, to be closer to him. Aragorn’s heart stopped beating briefly at the sight of him, the most beautiful creature he’d even seen, despite having been surrounded and raised by elves from an early age.

 Legolas saw him staring and felt a great shyness overwhelm him as he came across the man who’d been plaguing his mind with doubts and desires for days. The delicately pointed tips of the elf’s ears flushed the same endearing colour that Aragorn had remembered so fondly as the Prince giggled shyly. The first time he had seen the heir of Isildur, Legolas had found himself falling desperately in love with the ruggedly handsome man, grief filling him at the knowledge that the one he had fallen for was promised to Arwen until he felt it might kill him as such pain had killed many of his people. But now Aragorn was here before him and his heart quivered within his slender torso.

 Drawn unerringly to the glorious sound of the Prince’s laughter like tinkling bells, Aragorn’s whisper was quick and desperate as he spoke, filled with some bravely concealed agony, “Oh Legolas, I can bear it no longer!” His daring rising to unprecedented levels at the vision before him, Aragorn approached, grey eyes stormy as he gasped out, “The very sight of you is ripping my heart from my chest! Legolas, I have loved you ardently from the moment I saw you and I am in anguish because you are not mine!” He dropped to his knees, taking the pale dainty hand in his own and kissing it adoringly, groaning with misery and desire, “Take away the air I breathe, water, food; I will be well as long as you say that you love me too! Please, please tell me that you feel the connection as I do, such deep, unswerving love as can only have been written in the stars!”

 The ranger clasped the elf’s hands tightly, eyes sorrowful and damp as they stared up at the sky blue eyes of his love. Silvery tears flowed freely from Legolas’ eyes, as he swayed weakly and fell into the strong man’s touch, sobbing, “Oh Aragorn, you cannot know how I have longed for you to say what has been twisting sharply in my bosom! I love you so passionately I cannot live without you! For you, my love, I will forsake my immortal life so that we will never be apart!”

 “Oh Legolas,” Aragorn breathed wonderingly and he grinned with fierce joy. Legolas’ breath smelt of sweet fruit and Aragorn couldn’t resist pressing his mouth chastely to those perfect lips and tasting the honeyed sweetness of his tongue. One rough hand rose to smooth along the Prince’s long golden mane, small blue flowers that matched his alluring eyes carefully woven into the braids there.

 “Oh Aragorn,” Legolas gasped at the tender touch, a wave of glorious desire he’d never felt before overcoming him as the ranger’s rough cheeks grazed his own and left a pleasurable burn. He surrendered his mouth to the man’s as sweet desperation swept them away with consuming fiery passion. Aragorn longed to touch the hairless skin beneath the elf prince’s garb that must be as soft and pale as petals beneath his hands.

 Blue flame filled the elf’s eyes as his fingers tangled in Aragorn’s hair, the two men hurryingly rising and leaving the rest of the sleeping fellowship to find a more secluded spot to make passionate love.

 On first appearances, the lovers could not have known that one of their companions was not sleeping as the man had seemed. Filled with rage and jealously, Boromir rose from his bed, an ugly look on his unshaven face as he drew out his sword. His lust for the elf had left him frustrated and determined to get Legolas alone so that he could act of his vicious need, but now Aragorn had stolen the desirable Elven prince from him.

 Storming from the clearing where the rest of the Fellowship continued to sleep on oblivious, he went in search of his rightful prize; the death of Aragorn at the point of his blade and the possession of the exquisite elf!

 ~~~ * ~~~

 After they had made love, the lovers bathed in a nearby stream, Aragorn admiring the sight of his blue-eyed soul mate, long silken hair shining in the moonlight like a waterfall of sunlight. They had passed the day in each other’s loving arms, both overcome with an overwhelming desire that they could not conquer. Sadly they knew that soon they would have to return to their companions so the quest could continue.

 They lounged on the soft grass by the banks, naked, gentle caresses of love warming them. Finally, they pulled on their clothes over their dried bodies and headed back to camp, surreptitiously holding hands.

 As they entered the clearing, the hobbits were squabbling over supper, whilst Gandalf watched on, smiling in silent approval to himself as he noticed the new lovers. He had successfully kept the Fellowship from straying too far from their camp to afford the Prince of Mirkwood and Heir of Isildur some privacy. All the hobbits soon noticed their presence as well, Frodo, Sam and Merry smiling and nodding to one another knowing that their efforts to bring the destined couple together had succeeded; Pippin looked on bemused, as Frodo fondly patted his shoulder and told the Brandybuck he’d understand when he was older.

 Gimli gruffly muttered something, but everyone secretly knew he was as delighted as the rest of the Fellowship were that two amongst them could find such happiness. They all laughed merrily as Merry continued to look around bemused as to why Strider and the elf were holding hands and feeding each other stew.

 Gandalf rolled his eyes, “Fool of a Took!”

 Legolas was vaguely aware of the laughter and merriment surrounding him, but his startlingly blue eyes were for his beloved. Aragorn looked more handsome than ever in the firelight, grey eyes dark with desire just at the sight of the elf. Even after an entire day spent languishing naked in a secret lush glade, Aragorn could barely hold back the fiery heat of desire in his heart when their fingers met.

 “Where is Boromir?” Frodo pointed out suddenly, in between bouts of happy laughter, his luminous long-lashed blue eyes searching around the merry gathering only now realising he had not seen the dour man all day.

 Suddenly there was a wild scream of fury and the brutish man came trampling though the undergrowth, long greasy hair tangled and making him look as frightening and feral as a warg. His sword descended upon Aragorn, but Legolas, with his superior elven speeds, threw his lithe body before the blade, the wicked metal cutting across him.

 Aragorn saw blood and with unimaginable rage and fear that his love had been murdered, he drew his own sword. Boromir’s dark eyes widened with fear as Aragorn stalked forwards, meeting the Gondorian’s heavy blade ferociously before lunging and stabbing the untrustworthy man through the heart.

 Choking, he collapsed to lie on the blood-stained ground. Eyes wide, he breathed Aragorn’s name. Aragorn knelt beside the man, seeing the horrified expression in his eyes, “Forgive me...” Aragorn gently laid a hand against the Gondorian’s chest as his dark eyes glazed over and his breathing stopped. In death, Boromir seemed pale and noble; the fellowship inconsolably mourned his passing, remembering the man before he had been swayed by such bitterness.

 Suddenly seeing the bloodied end of Boromir’s sword, terror stole through Aragorn’s veins and he dived to his lover’s side, relieved to see that the blood he’d seen had come from a small scratch on Legolas’ bicep. Gandalf had been healing him and was frowning as his hands swept over the beautiful prince’s slender limbs, “There is something strange here. I thought for a moment... No, surely not. It is only legend.”

 “What, Gandalf?” Frodo asked curiously, blinking wide blue eyes beneath his confused frown.

 Sam eagerly looked up from his stew, swallowing hurriedly, “Is it Elven magic, Mr Gandalf, sir?”

 Gandalf’s hand rested on Legolas’ slightly swollen stomach as both the lovers stared at the wizard worriedly, wondering what could possibly be wrong. Gandalf smiled mysteriously, “It seems we shall have a fellowship of nine once more in a month...”

 Aragorn and Legolas looked at one another in shock and joy when they realised their awe-inspiring love for one another would be bringing a new life into this world. The man pressed a fervent kiss to the elf’s soft, sweet lips, palm pressed to the small bumb of their unborn child, growing rapidly within his mate.

 Frodo, Sam and Merry all gasped with excitement as Gimli gruffly muttered something, although everyone knew that really he was just as excited as everyone else. Sam started cooking a celebratory supper for them all with a special iced Congratulations cake and Gimli went to find more wood for the fire, eyes strangely bright and watery with poorly concealed joy.

 Pippin looked between all his friends in confusion, “Who’s going to be joining the fellowship?”

 Legolas and Aragorn and Gandalf and Frodo all shared despairing looks and, laughing gaily, said in unison, “Oh Merry!”

 TO (maybe) BE CONTINUED IN ‘THE POWER OF INSURMOUNTABLE LOVE’ and ‘THE REIGN OF ELLARATHRANDUIGORN'

**Author's Note:**

> This story is one of five fics I wrote for a Song challenge from a friend. Five random tunes selected by the gods of fate from my music playlist; five one-shots, any fandom.
> 
> If you are curious to see what became of this, please visit my author homepage.
> 
> As always, my pet feedback monster is looking for comments for his breakfast. Any and all offerings would be much appreciated.


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